Piggybacking on my post about United's new policy

[fisme_nasu]

I've been thinking a lot about discrimination lately. I watched Stephen Colbert's response to that horrible anti-gay marriage commercial and it just about killed me. XD But I've had a hard time making myself believe that there's size discrimination. I know there's hatred and bias, especially when it comes to women's bodies whether we're too big or too small, our breast size, etc. I think my own self-hatred is making it difficult for me.

I'm not equating fat with gay in the slightest, but boy, I find it funny that if you're friends with a gay person (or several), it usually opens your eyes to gay issues and if you held some anti-gay beliefs those are dispelled. But if you're friends with a fat person, most people when confronted with an issue like this say horrible things and will turn to the fat friend and say, "but I don't mean YOU. You're not that fat." Which really means, "Yeah, I mean you, but I like you and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

I think what a lot of "normal sized" people don't understand is that a lot of us have tried all this crazy shit to get the weight off - crash starvation diets, overexercising, diet pills - and now our bodies are fighting to conserve every last calorie because we're programmed that way. Our bodies are programmed to fight starvation. Period. And now I don't consume very much compared to a lot of people I know - including my own family - and my body says "fuck you, I'm saving this shit for the next time you do something nuts and try to take all my energy away."

And most of the people who are spewing a bunch of crap about worrying about the health of the fatties, aren't worrying about health at all. It's all about the visuals.

I don't know what to do.

Comments

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

And most of the people who are spewing a bunch of crap about worrying about the health of the fatties, aren't worrying about health at all. It's all about the visuals.

And there you hit a very delicate point. One of those "we don't talk about this because it makes us uncomfortable" points. There are some people who have no health problems carrying around additional weight and there are some that do. I don't know when we started this cookie cutter idea of what is healthy but I think that sort of thought is unhealthy.

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

I think it's been around since modern medicine began. Science is about facts and people who study medicine tend to be scientists. If x, than y. But as my favorite guy Lewis Black pointed out, everyone is indeed a snowflake. What's good for one of us may kill another one.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

It's really hard not to care, when society is teing you that "this" is beautiful and the ideal and nothing else coud possibly be attractive.

There's a part of me that considers 200 lbs. to be the weight of death. Logically, I know this is ridiculous. I think that my grandmother and her damned weight issues had a HUGE negative effect on th women in my family. She's mellowed out some, but like 2 years ago she told my mother if she (my mom) gained any more weight, she'd be cut out of the will.

BUT SHE HAD NOTHING AGAINST FAT PEOPLE!

People need to recognize their prejudices and the fact that they effect people in sometimes horrible ways.

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

I passed 200 a long time ago. In college, I think. I'd be happy to get back there.

And both of my grandmothers are like that - and one of them is fat! She dieted her whole life. And as long as I've been alive, she's weighed pretty much the same (around 220), unless she was really sick.

Society in general sucks.

[curseangel.livejournal.com]

I think size discrimination does, definitely, exist. Some of it's unconscious, but a lot of it's out there. How many fat people can buy clothes in regular stores? I know I can't; I go to the mall and JC Penney's is the only store that even carries my size, unless I'm buying men's clothes. People assume all kinds of nasty things about me because of my weight, and they're shocked - shocked, I tell you - to find that I don't conform to their preconceived notions of "what a fat girl is".

My mum is one of those "you shouldn't be fat, you should try everything to lose weight - but I love you just the way you are!" types. She's as much as told me I'll never get a boyfriend until I drop 100lbs, that no one's going to like me until I lose weight, and then she tells me she thinks I'm beautiful. :\ Yeah, okay, right, mum. I'll buy that after the half-hour lecture on how I could achieve anything I wanted to ever if I would just lose weight.

I hate the people who pretend they're thinking of your health. Hate them. Because you know it's nothing to do with that - they could care less about how healthy you are. They just want a pretty picture. :\

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I HATE clothes shopping so much. And now my beloved empire waisted baby doll shirts are no longer in fashion. :(

I get a lot of borked assumptions from people. When I was pregnant with my son, I had to take the glucose test 3 times because there's no way someone my size isn't diabetic. I had a nurse harrass me because she thought I was fudging my blood pressure results - and I had one refuse to touch me. And that's nothing to what strangers think/do/say.

Your mom is wrong. Hell, I just got married in October. And before I was with the man, I had no shortage of men wanting to be with me. (Most of them weren't worth my time, but whatever.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/silent_dreamer_/]

I think part of the reason size discrimination exists is because there really isn't "PC policing" against it. Even homophobic or racist people know that society generally frowns upon their beliefs and so they're at least a little bit more conscious about what they say. But people don't think they same way about commenting on other people's bodies. It might be rude, but it's not "OMG discrimination" and that removes their filters.

Totally not the same thing, but I'm really short and really skinny, and people think nothing about teasing me about my body despite the fact that I have no control over what I look like, or laughing at me when I can't reach something. It doesn't make me fly into a rage or anything, but I am flabbergasted that it's often okay to make very disparaging comments about other people's bodies, and in the case of weight, to make assumptions about other people's characters based on what they look like. It's completely unfair, and I hate that it's so acceptable to think like that in our society.

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

Well it's everywhere - even turn on CNN and tbey're talking about some actress or singer and how she's gained/lost weight. I'm very lucky because my brain and personality are bigger than my size, so I haven't been penalized by not getting a job. But restaurants will deliberately alter my portion or even screw up my food so I can't eat whatever "fatty" thing is on my plate. And I'll get passed over for service from businesses because I can't possibly want what they're selling.

My best friend is small, too - she's 4'11 and weighs about 98 lbs. She gets a ton of crap from people about her size, too. Gah.

[http://users.livejournal.com/silent_dreamer_/]

Restaurants alter your food? Seriously? *rage*

Your friend is my size!

[be-prepared.livejournal.com]

I can almost see the "I don't mean you" side though. With my friends, I don't see what strangers see. They may be the same size or whatever, but because they are good people and everything, I really don't notice.

That sounds cheesy, but it's true. I think I stop seeing the physical side of my friends in a lot of cases. Actually, I generally don't notice strangers being overweight or whatever unless it's extreme.

[be-prepared.livejournal.com]

Or maybe it's just because it's old news... I dunno.

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

I was more talking about blanket statements like "those fat people just eat too much and are soooooo lazy," "why should my insurance premiums go up just because of all those fatasses," and "god, fat people make me sick - they smell, they breathe funny, etc etc etc."

Most of the people I consider to be friends wouldn't say anything like that. But coworkers, family, and acquaintances don't care about going on and on when I'm STANDING RIGHT THERE!

And I stop noticing my friends' looks unless there's a drastic change. I just see them.

[be-prepared.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay, I misunderstood. :P Yeah, I can't believe someone would say something like that, but I can't say that I've never seen/heard it happen.

[astragali.livejournal.com]

The thing I think about size discrimination is that it is a way to legitimize all the stereotypes upper-class people hold about lower-class people--they're slovenly, they can't control themselves, they're undisciplined--except you can't really say "poor people are icky," so we talk about the obesity epidemic instead.

[fisme-nasu.livejournal.com]

You've probably hit that nail right on the head.